What Could've Been
by aiko-nee
Summary: "I never wanted you to leave" Here's a sad story; ten years ago I met the love of my life, and I didn't even tell her how I feel about her. Now, ten years after, I hold this invitation to her wedding. And honestly I can't go through this without telling her how I actually feel, and just because of that something magical happened to me. (WARNING: REALLY BIG AMOUNT OF FLUFF)


What was the point of letting her go? What was the point of not acting? Why didn't I move? Why didn't I run away with her? I should have never let you walk away.

I flinched as I saw the wedding invitation. I guess she wanted the best, and she got it. Considering I never confessed to her. I wasn't particularly sad about the wedding happening, but that feeling of regret always floats around whenever I thought of her.

_ Chitanda._

I hated those manipulative eyes, the ones who would make me solve a mystery, the ones that would waste my energy. But honestly, I was all wrong about that. Instead of hating it, right now at my point of view at this very age I know well that I actually miss it. I didn't exactly enjoy it, but it was something to look forward to. A rose-colored life. She gave me that. Now I admit it, but apparently now, is too late.

Here I am, holding the invitation of the wedding of the girl, I know now, love. But I was too stupid to realize it when I was younger. I still remember that day, the cherry blossoms in full bloom. The wind breeze flowing through her beautiful black locks. Her indigo eyes beaming in delight and surprised, there she smiled at me. I stood there and did nothing, I just stood in awe of the beautiful scene. I know now that I should've confessed to her. I'm such an idiot just realizing now. But then again, now, is too late.

I let go of the invitation, left it on the desk where all my papers are. I plopped on the bed and covered my eyes with my arm, I sighed. I stretched my feet as I laid. I couldn't stop thinking about her. I'm confused. I don't know if I'm actually going to attend the wedding. Honestly if I were my old self, I would say my excuse that it's a waste of energy, but now my excuse is that I would actually be hurt to witness such a scene. I would imagine Chitanda wearing a big white wedding dress with a matching veil made of lace. She would have a bouquet of flowers in her hand wrapped her hands. Walking down the aisle, her eyes peaking out on all the people, and the groom. Which right now is not me. My fantasy of Chitanda's wedding was about to come true, except now, the groom is not me. I hated that. That for sure I despised. But I had to make sure that the guy Chitanda is marrying is decent. He has to take care of her no matter what happened. He had to be everything I wasn't. In the end, I decided that I'm actually attending the wedding. I didn't want anyone to be suspicious of why I didn't go, that would be a waste of energy, I can't tell them the truth, I'm too, embarrassed.

My phone rang when I was just about to fall asleep. I didn't notice the ring of my phone immediately because I was half asleep. I dragged myself off my bed and reached hopelessly for my phone. When I finally got it I stared at my phone.

_Fukube Satoshi is calling..._

Probably calling for an update on how I've been. We take occasional phone calls which obviously he starts. We talk about the normal stuff, nothing new, nothing special. "Yo! Houtarou" he said as I answered. I didn't speak yet, I just waited for him to speak again "So, did you receive your invitation?" he asked. "Y-Yea" I replied. "You're not very enthusiastic, well it is you" he said. "Are you going?" he asked. "I am, actually, nothing better to do anyway" I replied. "It must be hard for you" he said. he knew very well of my position, he's the only one who knows about it. He's my best friend after all. I didn't actually tell him about it though, he just knew. We talked for awhile but after that I just felt tired. I needed sleep. It was actually night so I had to. I climbed up my bed covered myself in the sheets, with only one thought in my mind.

_Three weeks later..._

I woke up sluggish, I felt like not waking up at all. But I remembered, today was Chitanda's wedding day. I hadn't spoke to her much but I'm actually glad I'm not. It would be awkward between us at least for me it would. But honestly, I wanted, no, I needed to see her. I missed that beautiful smiling face, that face I would always see when a mystery was solved. Those days with the classics club, I now know, were my best.

I stood up and took a quick shower. Dressed up and hurriedly went to get a taxi. Apparently the classics club was gonna have a little reunion before the wedding, Chitanda suggested it. Of course, I couldn't say no, even if I didn't want to go they would actually make me go. Especially because Satoshi knows how I feel about Chitanda.

I sat at the back of the taxi and requested my destination. I sat there for 30 minutes or so, starring blankly at the blue sky. As we arrived I paid the man and went out of the car. We met at an old fashioned café, the one we used to visit. I open the door noticing that they weren't there yet, so I took the liberty to take a seat a booth for four. I waited patiently for the next person to come. And there she was.

_Chitanda._

Seeing her heavily breathing I felt de ja vu happening, I saw this before. That time when she asked me for help about her uncle. I still remember that, 10 years later. This time she looked more organized, more mature, but she look the same to me. That same old, curious Chitanda. If I had a time machine I would go back to the time I met her and changed everything.

"Oreki-san" she muttered.

"Chitanda" I said. She hurried to the booth and sat down on the opposite side of me. "Sorry I'm late, I was stuck in traffic" she said. "No worries, I only came a few minutes ago" I replied. "Oh, that's a relief" she said. I nodded and drank my coffee I ordered awhile ago. "Oreki-san, how have you been?" she asked. How I have I been? Well I certainly did not enjoy the painful countdown of your wedding. But no that's not how I replied "I'm fine, nothing much" I said. "Well that's good, meet anyone special?" I did, you, ten years ago, but again that's not how I replied. "No one in particular" I said. "Really? That's surprising" she said. "It can't be helped, it is Houtarou" Satoshi said walking in with Ibara not far behind. In case your wondering their what their relationship is, they're actually together. Though it took a long time for Satoshi to get the courage to actually ask her out on a date. Ibara is actually quite intimidating. "Fukube-san" Chitanda said. "Chi-chan! How long has it been?" Ibara asked, she sat down next to her. "It's been quite a long time hasn't it?" Chitanda replied."It so great to see you again!" the girls seem to have a lot a fun. As for me, I acted the same as I did before. I just stared at them, drinking my coffee, doing thee same as usual. "Oreki-san, you seem quiet, is there anything wrong?" Chitanda asked me. "N-No it's nothing" I said, feeling my my checks burn. Satoshi looked at me, chuckling just a bit. He smirked and went back to the main conversation. "Just ignore him Chi-chan, it's his normal self" Ibara glared at me. I ignored her, not wanting to cause any trouble.

* * *

After our little get together Chitanda had to hurry off because well it is her big day. Although she did, Satoshi insisted that I would take her there. Of course I couldn't escape from it. So now, here I am walking with Chitanda. "Oreki-san" she spoke. I turned to her with a curious face. "I'm curious" she said. Here we re again. Hearing those words made me feel nostalgic. I wanted to ignore her though. "There's nothing to be curious about" I said. "No that's not it" she said. "I feel weird" she said. She put her hand on her heart " I don't know if I'm doing the right thing" she said. I widened my eyes "What do you mean?" I said. She shook her head, as if she was clearing her head "Should I get married?" she asked me. I was turned confused. "You're smart, right? Oreki-san, you've always answered my questions, so should I?" she asked. Right now I was in a difficult situation. I had half a mind to ask her to stop the wedding, but then again she could actually love him. "I don't think I'm in the postion to tell you that" I said. "But, I don't know, after I met with you guys I felt different" she said. "I felt like I was doing something I would regret" she added. "I don't understand" she said. "You should ask Ibara then, not me" I said. I don't want to be that guy who could ruin a perfect wedding. "C-Can you keep a secret?" she asked me. I listened on how she and Shimotsuki, her so-called groom met, and apparently the first time they met he didn't really make much of an impression to Chitanda, he was as she described, 'boring'. But she said he was a nice guy, she was caring and respectful to her, but she felt like such a bad person to marry him just because they needed an heir to hold out the company. She felt like she was just doing this out of money. "What should I do?" she asked me. I was just about to tell her to go on with the wedding, but I thought again, what would happen if I actually told her to cancel the wedding? Would everything I wanted to be happen? Would Chitanda be happy? I thought about it clearly. Wondering if I should tell her to cancel or go on with the wedding. But subconsiously I thought "Who would be happy if Chitanda actually canceled the wediding?" I stop walking. "Oreki-san?" she said and looked back at me. Right now we were inches apart. She was facing sidewards at me, blinking throughout. "If I were to tell you to cancel the wedding, I would only be doing it for myself" I said. "What exactly does that mean?" she asked. "Ten years ago, when we we there at the cherry blossom tree, right after the doll festival, I should have told you the truth." I replied. She widens her eyes. "What?" she said. "The truth is..." I said. I got up courage and finished my sentence,

"I'm in love with you Chitanda Eru."

It felt time stopped. She was there staring blankly at me, entirely speechless. I stood there doing nothing, waiting desperately for her reply, which never came. "I know its too late. But I just wanted you to know" I said. I sighed and turned back. "Go on with the wedding, he seems like a keeper" I said and walked away. I felt like a weight on my chest didn't go off it was just, heavier. I don't know why but, I feel like I needed to turn around and do that all over again. "Why did you tell me sooner?" she said. She held on to my arm, I felt her hand wrapped around it, somehow warming it up. I felt happy that she actually reached out to me, something I never could do. "Chitanda" I said. Turning to look at her I found her looking down, crying. "I-I'm sorry I shouldn't have asked you such a thing" she replied. I couldn't speak. "N-Nevermind, I still hope to see you at my wedding though" she said, wiping her tears, smiling at me. She turned and ran away from me before I could say anything.

_ A few hours later..._

** ~Chitanda Eru's P.O.V~**

I stood at the end of the aisle, waiting for the bride's maids to finish walking. When it was my turn the piano played. Everyone stood. As I walked I peaked out to the people, I didn't see Oreki-san anywhere. No matter where I looked he wasn't there. I knew he wouldn't come. It must he hard for him to do so. But I admit, it's hard for me to pull through with this as well. I know very well that I share the same feelings as Oreki-san, but I didn't say it. Why? Why am here walking down the aisle when the person I love is probably somewhere else. I looked up to my groom and thought, that should be Oreki-san right there, why am I here about to make a vow with someone I don't even love. Just as I was about to take Shimotsuki-kun's hand, I froze. "Ch-Chitanda-san?" he said.

_ "I have to stop this wedding"_ I thought

"I'm sorry" I said. I shook my head. "I can't do this" I added. I turned around saw everybody's faces, I could hear them whispering while I did. "I'm sorry" I said to everybody. "But I can't go through with this wedding" I said. Immediely I ran away from the crowd I don't care what they did but I just needed to find Oreki-san and tell him I feel thee same way.

* * *

I searched for him for hours now, I haven't seen him at all. I don't know but I feel like i'm losing hope. But I feel like I've searched everywhere. his house my house, that cherry blossom tree, that cafe, and I still can't find him. But there's still one place left to look.

I ran up the stairs of Kamiyama High, feeling nostalgic as. I did. I rushed. throught the stairs to the place I always felt at home. I reached. it. That room, filled with memories, I opened the door. As I thought, he was there, looking out the window, just like me where we first met. "Oreki-san" I muttered as I came closer to him. "Chitanda, what are you-"

"I was wrong" I cut him off. "Wrong about my desicions for the past few years." I said. "Chitanda" he said. "Please let me finish" I said. He stopped talking. "I was just about to marry a guy I don't even love. But know I'm standing here, at my old school, in my wedding dress, asking the boy I love to please stay with me" I finished.

"Oreki Houtarou, I am, happily so, in love with you" I said.

"I know that now" I said. He just stood there silent. I don't know why though. I was expecting a direct response. "Orek-"

_He kissed me_

All my life I never knew that something so simple as a kiss, would be so wonderful. I kissed back as soon as he did. He held my hand tightly, I liked that, I felt as if he was never gonna let me go. This was all I needed.

* * *

_Author's note:_

_So that's it! I hope you like it! It's has a huge amount of fluff though, but still I hope you actually enjoyed it. By the way I only watched the anime and haven't read any of the light novels (because I'm stuck in a place that you can't find any) Let me know if you fangirled through this story, let me now if you want me to add like an epilogue to this story by reviewing, don't be shy I love feedback from my readers._

_This story is also on wattpad so if you wanna read it there just search rapunzellaa, my wattpad, I have original stories over there so mind checking it out? ^_^ And that's about it, see you guys next time, byebye!_

_~ Aiko_


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